We all need a bit of humour in our day!

"Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected."- Unknown* "People like you are the reason people like me take pills!"-Neva Faith Linn * "I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things."-Alan Coren * "A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house."-Unknown * "The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back." -Franklin Jones *"Teenager with nose ring, baggy clothing and spiked hair to friend: I don't really like dressing like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere they go."-Unknown *"A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water."-Unknown * "If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room."-Unknown *"Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked." -Kimberly Broyles * "Late night TV is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier."-James Dent *